That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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