So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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