so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
