I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
