Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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