Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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