i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
