I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
