I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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