can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
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And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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