and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
