You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
