went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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