Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
