I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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