we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
