Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize