you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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