just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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