Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize