It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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