U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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