I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
