Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
