you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
