"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
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