hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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