is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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