Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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