I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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