How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
