His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
