just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize