he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize