He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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