apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
