Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I would fuck him just for his dog
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
