I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
