I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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