the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize