I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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