he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
did you just send me my own nude
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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