I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
