Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
