I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
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I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?