If that was your dad, he is hot
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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