I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
