You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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