remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.