I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
handjob tips. give me some.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
