I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
