her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
