she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize