I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
