I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just want nice things and good sex
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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