haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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