____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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