Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm jealous of your bromance
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
