you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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